Life, Trash Compactors and Taking Time...
I think I know exactly how Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie all felt as the trash compactor walls slowly, but surely closed in around them.
The last few weeks have felt exactly like this for me. Laundry not done, (walls move a hair closer). Oops, groceries not gotten.... (little closer). Sessions to finish... (little bit closer)... Teaching two classes and fighting to stay above water, (just about squished!)....
In fact, if I'm being totally honest (if that's even allowed?), I have almost been ready to throw in the towel; several times. Literally, shut it all down, no photography, Sparrow's Heart... gone. The joy of photography seems to be getting slowly leached out of me because the business side just gets so crazy sometimes! I have found over the years that I have to work hard to keep the joy and I usually do that by shooting for myself. Alone, me and God. No pressure, no schedule, no compactor walls.
The other day, I couldn't help but start to bawl (inside my head of course), "I MISS my family! I miss my hubby, I miss my walking partner, I miss my photog buddy, I feel like I'm missing life!" And then it dawned on me... I'm missing my time with Jesus! That's the problem :( I've needed a photog walk with Him sooo badly and it just hasn't happened. Not for a LONG time.
Now, I try hard to not be a Negative Nellie on here (no one needs to hear me whine, like seriously, I know this) but I decided to share my true heart so you could hear, and fully understand the impact, of the end of the story.
It's not just the biz and the teaching, the clients and the pressure, but it's me. My heart needs a little surgery. Worn out hearts, hurting hearts, beaten up hearts aren't good for anybody.
So, I had a little surgery done ;)
Last weekend, I went to Pioneer Farms with my family. The only regret... my oldest girl couldn't come due to studying for finals. Despite the "not so" December-ish temps, we had a wonderful time! My son and I especially enjoyed it :) I'll post more images later but for now.... my favorite image, taken by the hubs. I love him! I'm soooooo blessed to have a sweet husband that is willing to walk all over tarnation to bless his worn out wife ♥
Family time, check.
Photog time for me, check.
Walk with God... a mini one but with the full version coming soon :)
The last few weeks have felt exactly like this for me. Laundry not done, (walls move a hair closer). Oops, groceries not gotten.... (little closer). Sessions to finish... (little bit closer)... Teaching two classes and fighting to stay above water, (just about squished!)....
In fact, if I'm being totally honest (if that's even allowed?), I have almost been ready to throw in the towel; several times. Literally, shut it all down, no photography, Sparrow's Heart... gone. The joy of photography seems to be getting slowly leached out of me because the business side just gets so crazy sometimes! I have found over the years that I have to work hard to keep the joy and I usually do that by shooting for myself. Alone, me and God. No pressure, no schedule, no compactor walls.
The other day, I couldn't help but start to bawl (inside my head of course), "I MISS my family! I miss my hubby, I miss my walking partner, I miss my photog buddy, I feel like I'm missing life!" And then it dawned on me... I'm missing my time with Jesus! That's the problem :( I've needed a photog walk with Him sooo badly and it just hasn't happened. Not for a LONG time.
Now, I try hard to not be a Negative Nellie on here (no one needs to hear me whine, like seriously, I know this) but I decided to share my true heart so you could hear, and fully understand the impact, of the end of the story.
It's not just the biz and the teaching, the clients and the pressure, but it's me. My heart needs a little surgery. Worn out hearts, hurting hearts, beaten up hearts aren't good for anybody.
So, I had a little surgery done ;)
Last weekend, I went to Pioneer Farms with my family. The only regret... my oldest girl couldn't come due to studying for finals. Despite the "not so" December-ish temps, we had a wonderful time! My son and I especially enjoyed it :) I'll post more images later but for now.... my favorite image, taken by the hubs. I love him! I'm soooooo blessed to have a sweet husband that is willing to walk all over tarnation to bless his worn out wife ♥
Family time, check.
Photog time for me, check.
Walk with God... a mini one but with the full version coming soon :)
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| Funny side note... I've also really been struggling with having my picture taken. It's important and I know my kids will someday just want pictures of me and they won't look at the wrinkles or haircuts. THIS... is probably one of my MOST favorite images of me EVER! :D It's just me and my precious kiddos. The joy they give me, the rest Jesus has for me and my precious hubby is all I need. You can see it written all over my face :) |
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| Loved it in b&w too, shocker I know ;) |
Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young—
a place near Your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God. ♥ Psalm 84:3
Absolutely love the b/w photo! I miss you too and can't wait for you to come back! It will get better..I promise.
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