The Sparrow's Heart ~ Honey Bear

Our sweet rattie went home to be with Jesus yesterday, the day after Valentine's Day. The last few months have been heart wrenching yet amazingly fulfilling. Hannah's rat, Honey Bear, came back home to live with us again. With Hannah being so far away and knowing that Honey Bear was not doing well we felt it would be better for her to be with us where she could be held more (Hannah has is both a full time student and working pretty much full time) and if she passed we didn't want her buried in College Station, but with us. Honey Bear lived an incredibly long life for a rat. She lived much longer than any of the other pet rats we've had, about 3yrs.


Since Christmas, her tumors had multiplied and her largest one had become so huge that it was making moving around in her cage difficult. I held her every chance I got (which became several times a day). Sometimes I'd even carry her in the pocket/pouch of my hoodie. I felt like a kangaroo, lol! SHE loved it!!! Every time I came up to her cage and opened it she was right there, climbing to get out, tumors and all. You wouldn't think she'd have the energy to do so but she did.


Some would think her an ugly creature, one to be feared and hated. Some would see past the "rat" and see a critter not to be feared but not to be snuggled either (let's face it, the tumors were awful and that snaggle tooth of her's didn't help). Few would see beyond all of that and actually recognize her for the amazing blessing that she was. For you, I'm eternally grateful.


We finally had to make the call to put her down. I REALLY did not want to have to do this. We've had to put other pet rats down and this one was especially pulling at my heart. Her tumor burst and she plummeted. It was time. Ugh. I hate this. This awful decision. It had to be done and I got to be the lucky one. Again. No more pet rats. My heart can't take this.


Why would I go through all this, here, on my blog? Why share this moment, the small life and huge pain with you? It's simple...


It would seem that with any loss I go through, memories and twinges of past sorrows and pain flood my heart. I usually try to post upbeat things so forgive the sadness in this one. I miss my dad, I miss my grandparents, I miss family friends that have passed. I miss our ratties and my dog, Amber. Death is awful and horrible and painful. You may feel like all hope is lost in the midst of a loss like any of these.


I just want you to know, no matter where you are or what sorrow you have gone through or might be going through right now, there is hope. Hope for love, joy, peace... and happiness. Jesus is the answer and the way back to those things. I'm so grateful that some day I won't ever have to feel sorrow again. Until then, I will cling to Him and trust Him for the days ahead. I hope you do too.


Rest in peace my sweet rattie. We love you Honey Bear.

His eye is on the sparrow and I know He is watching over me.   ♥   Matthew 10:29-31